What about Transformation?

AM Psalm 19; Isaiah 45:18-25 • Philppians 3:4b-11
PM Psalm 119:89-112 • Ecclesiasticus 39:1-10 • Acts 9:1-22

What about transformation? Flash of light, voice of Jesus, blind for three days, Saul sees a vision of Ananias laying hands on him, and Ananias does. And Paul is transformed from persecutor to proclaimer, proclaiming that Jesus was the Messiah, the Son of God. This is a powerful God, and a powerful transformation! Dramatic, the stuff of movies.

I contrast this with the prayer at the end of Psalm 19:

Who can tell how often he offends?
Cleanse me from my secret faults.

Above all, keep your servant from presumptuous sins;
Let them not get dominion over me;
Then shall I be whole and sound, and innocent of a great offense.

Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart
be acceptable in your sight,
O Lord, my strength and my redeemer.

I see this as a quiet plea for transformation, “Help me when I can’t help myself!” I was curious about the word presumptuous in this prayer. In other translations, I found it translated as “willful” and “deliberate.” Those words make more sense to me. I see the author asking for the healing of his unconscious, the Shadow self. And this, when it happens, is as miraculous as the transformation of Saul. That God can reach inside and heal of us our secret faults, and the sinful actions that are driven by our unconscious. This is a powerful God, and a powerful transformation! Dramatic in its own way, not necessarily the stuff of movies.

I have no control over whether God might choose me for a dramatic, sudden transformation, like Saul’s. I hope God does; I hope God doesn’t. It’s pretty scary. I think I can participate in readying myself for healing my Shadow/unconscious through Centering Prayer and other spiritual practices, This I’m willing to do, and then leave the results to God.

Written by Cathy Campbell

A parishioner who joyfully sings in the choir, and who continues to pray for healing of her secret faults.