Grief

AM Psalm 119:97-120 • PM Psalm 81, 82
Jer. 8:18-9:6 • Rom. 5:1-11 • John 8:12-20

When I wrote this reflection I was grieving, and Jeremiah’s words spoke what was in my heart.

My joy is gone, grief is upon me,
my heart is sick.
Hark, the cry of my poor people
from far and wide in the land...

A transgender Latina woman from Springdale was murdered in Pennsylvania on February 18. She was 24 years old. I knew her slightly, having met her at some LGBTQ events a few years ago. Say her name: Chyna Carrillo. She was beautiful from the inside out, vibrant, proud of her identity, and loving. I didn’t know her well, so it’s not a deep personal grief. It’s more like the grief Jeremiah felt for Jews in exile in Babylon.

For the hurt of my poor people I am hurt,
I mourn, and dismay has taken hold of me.

Dismay has taken hold of me. Why this hatred for transgender people, particularly transgender women of color, like Chyna? I believe that God is grieving for the hurt of the LGBTQ community in the same way that Jeremiah grieved for the hurt of the Jews. I do want to say that Jeremiah believed that God was punishing the Jews for having departed from the law, and I do not believe that God is punishing the LGBTQ community, or any oppressed minority. Through his son Jesus, God has given us the example of standing with, supporting, and loving those on the margins.

The reality of people hating other people enough to kill them, dehumanize them, pass laws against them is part of what makes me grieve. And Chyna’s murder brings that reality closer to home, closer to my heart than it was.

Where does this leave me? One aspect of grief is that it alerts my heart to what I care about. As I reflect and write, I’m also alerted to how easy it would be turn to hatred in response, and - God help me – I don’t want to go there. My prayer for myself, and anyone else who needs it, is that I can use the energy of my grief to follow Jesus’ example in standing firmly, angrily if needed, against others’ hateful, cruel, and discriminatory behavior, and respect the dignity of all human beings at the same time. In the name of God. Amen.

Written by Cathy Campbell

Cathy is a semi-retired professional counselor and Healing Touch Practitioner. She advocates for marginalized groups, especially LGBTQ people.