Déjà vu

Psalm 105:1-22 • Psalm 105:23-45
Zech. 4:1-14 • Eph. 4:17-32 • Matt. 9:1-8

Or as my husband says, "déjà vu all over again." Last July I wrote a reflection about this same healing episode, as described by Mark, (Mark 2:1-12). And here it is again. As a reminder, this short passage from Matthew describes the healing of a paralytic. Jesus first heals by forgiving the man's sins. When the scribes challenge Jesus' authority to forgive sins, he tells the man, "'Stand up, take your bed and go to your home.' And he stood up and went to his home." 

Last summer I wrote my reflection just after I found out that I had breast cancer.  I reflected on the difference between "son, your sins are forgiven," versus "stand up, take your bed and go..." I was wishing for a "stand up take your bed and go" kind of healing. I wanted the cancer to disappear. The cancer did disappear—through successful surgery (meaning clean margins)—which wasn't exactly what I had in mind at the time. Right now, I don't know if I have cancer. Soon I will have my first follow-up screening to find out whether I have cancer or not.

This leaves me wondering what healing means in a state of not knowing. It's certainly nothing as dramatic as "take your bed and go." My need for healing continues, however; both physical healing and the spiritual healing needed to live peacefully in this state of not knowing. This prayer, from Richard Rohr's meditation this morning, pretty well sums it up for me:

Holy Wisdom, Mother God, you hold my time in your hands. Your providence guides the stars and my cells. Your compassion opens my heart to healing in the midst of pain. Help me rest in you, trusting the future in your care and giving comfort to those who mourn, hurt, and face personal challenge. In Christ's name. Amen.

Written by Cathy Campbell

A parishioner who wants to sing in the choir, who now does Healing Touch at a distance, and who is waiting for Life to show her the truth about this present time.

The prayer is from the book The Mystic in You: Discovering a God-Filled World, by Bruce Epperly.