Learning to Ask
AM Psalm 50 • PM Psalm [59, 60] or 8, 84
Deut. 16:18-20, 17:14-20 • 2 Cor. 8:1-16 • Luke 18:1-8
We often exist at two extremes of thought: thinking God is in total control and everything that happens is part of His plan or that anything we desire that we don’t achieve is because of our failures. In the first extreme we give up control and with it personal responsibility. In the second we selfishly take total responsibility without allowing for grace or perspective.
We tend to create a divide between our desires and spirituality; our control and gratefulness. For me it is easier to pray for someone else or in thanksgiving. I feel guilty asking God for something I want. Keeping our spirituality confined to only what we feel is worthy to give the divine is detrimental to our relationship with God. Whether you believe God truly knows and controls your future or not, I believe blurring the lines between your spirituality and ambition filters whatever outcome that occurs through a lens of grace and love. God values persistence as seen in the “Parable of the Persistent Widow.” What is important is that we include God in the conversation.
As I am waiting to hear from medical school waiting lists, I have found peace in asking God for the outcome I want. I have allowed myself to commit to wanting something so desperately while knowing that I will reach my goals no matter the outcome. I have found freedom in giving my selfish desire to God and no longer feel alone in my striving. There are times for us to take control and work towards our goals and times of waiting. Whatever season you are in, I urge you to turn to God with all your raw desires, heartbreak, and anxieties. You may not get what you want, but you allowed yourself to dream. As you filter your selfish desires through your spirituality, your need for control is softened to persistent hope and I believe that is a great foundation for unshakeable faith.
Written by Hadley Thomas
Hadley recently graduated from the Colorado School of Mines with a biochemistry degree and is working in Washington D.C. as a Senate intern. She will start medical school in August and will commission into the U.S. Navy as a physician upon graduation. She is passionate about her faith and is excited to share her perspective and interpretations with the amazing congregation of Saint Paul’s.