All Up In Our Feelings
Psalm 89:1-18 • Psalm 89:19-52
Num. 16:1-19 • Rom. 3:21-31 • Matt. 19:13-22
When the rich man asks Jesus what he must do to gain eternal life, he is told to follow the Ten Commandments and also—no big deal!—give all his stuff away. When he walks away I am reminded of the Magnificat: "He has filled the hungry with good things, and the rich he hath sent empty away." I prefer to read "emptied" instead of "empty" to emphasize its congruity with the bold statement immediately preceding: "He hath put down the mighty from their seat, and hath exalted the humble and meek." But in Matthew, the man doesn't go away empty. He leaves sad, but still rich. In light of the Song of Mary we understand that the poor are not filled by sadness, but by redistribution of wealth.
Guilt cannot stand in for justice. The feelings of the oppressor can hinder reparations when assuaged with token actions. Billionaires reap adulation when they give away minuscule percentages of their wealth to charitable causes. White people use social media posts to project allyship with BIPOC* but don’t act. Universities and corporations form "diversity and inclusion" committees that accomplish little but a boost in image.
We don't want to feel bad about ourselves, but we also fight change so we won’t feel the loss of our ill-gotten wealth and privilege. The rich man despaired that following the law wasn’t enough to gain him eternal life. In response to his feelings he chooses to walk away from Jesus rather than be emptied of earthly treasure. I believe that to march in protest is to walk towards the Incarnate God, the One who puts down and exalts, fills and sends away. How we wrestle with our feelings afterwards determines whether we follow or walk away.
* BIPOC stands for Black, Indigenous, and People of Color and is used as an alternative to the blanket term POC to acknowledge the unique and disproportionate oppression of Black and Native populations within the entire community of those victimized by white supremacy.
Written by Kathryn Haydon
Kathryn studies rice quality and disease as a PhD candidate in Plant Science at the University of Arkansas and can’t wait to sing in the St. Paul’s choir again when we can all be safe together.