Matrimonial Motivations

AM Psalm 89:1-18 • PM Psalm 89:19-52
2 Kings 17:24-41 • 1 Cor. 7:25-31 • Matt. 6:25-34

While meditating on this reflection I was also reading Go Tell It on the Mountain, James Baldwin’s semi-autobiographical novel about a black, gay, 14-year-old boy named John who is apparently destined to become a preacher after his stepfather. The novel is suffused with Scripture, each reference illuminating the characters’ internal struggles with their own sin and salvation.

John’s stepfather Gabriel cites 1 Corinthians 7:9—“It is better to marry than to burn”—as he considers marrying his first wife, Deborah. This biblical impetus to marry is dwarfed by other motivations: filling his deceased mother’s caretaking role in his life, and exercising his savior complex as he seeks to elevate Deborah above her outcast status due to her past sexual trauma at the hands of a mob of white men. Unsurprisingly, marriage doesn’t save Gabriel from burning, as he fathers a son by another woman while married to Deborah; his savior complex also resurfaces when he marries his second wife Elizabeth, adopting her bastard son John as his own.

The cascade of women’s and children’s suffering following Gabriel’s choices to marry makes me more sympathetic to Paul’s advice to remain unmarried in 1 Corinthians 7:25, even if his previous exposition on marriage doesn’t thrill my modern sensibilities. (Marital rights? Authority over the other’s body? No, thank you.) Paul is clear he doesn’t speak for God—“if you marry you do not sin”—but I believe the intentions we bring to our intimate relationships are among the most revelatory of our character and consequential for our and our families’ lives.

Written by Kathryn Haydon

Kathryn holds a doctorate in Plant Science from the University of Arkansas, where she studied all things rice. She sings in the St. Paul’s choir, reads oodles of science fiction and fantasy, and shares a book-filled home with her husband Nathan and their cats Ollie and Adair.