Don’t Be Attached to the Results
AM Psalm 140, 142 • PM Psalm 141, 143:1-11(12)
2 Kings 23:36-24:17 • 1 Cor. 12:12-26 • Matt. 9:27-34
Lately I have been perplexed by all the times that Jesus heals someone and then commands them not to tell. And here it is again in today’s gospel reading. I’ve spent some time contemplating his need to ask those he healed not to tell. I’ve asked questions and done reading on the subject.
Most of what I read posits that Jesus wanted to move freely about to teach without the impediment of crowds to hinder him from teaching. The more I’ve contemplated this, the more I wonder if Jesus also wanted this to be more about the faith of those he healed and less about himself. After all, how in the world would someone who was blind but now could see explain that to his family and his neighbors?
Back in the 1980’s, after suffering severe burnout as a hospice nurse during the HIV/AIDS epidemic, I began to heal myself by learning as much as I could about the causes of burnout. I then began teaching burnout prevention workshops to hospice folks in accredited classes across the country. One of the tools I shared were four principles I learned in my research:
Show up.
Pay attention.
Tell the truth.
Don’t be attached to the results.
The first three principles are crucial for being entirely present with those we encounter in our personal lives and in our work. The fourth principle is the hardest one to adhere to. Not adhering to this principle has the potential to destroy healthy boundaries. It means to me that if we do something really great for someone we don’t let our ego get in the way of that by making it about ourselves. Conversely, it means to me that if we mess up, we don’t hold onto the mistake and let it destroy our faith in ourselves in and in what we have to offer others.
I will always be in awe of the team that God graced the Prison Story Project with as we began our journey with men on Arkansas’ death row: Katie Nichol, Matt Henriksen, Troy Schremmer, and David Jolliffe. As we began that journey I felt compelled to tell them that we were not to share what we were doing with anyone and that we would not make it known to the public for the first few months we were on the row until we knew we could do that work without any sensationalism that might come up and hinder us from what we wanted to accomplish. I did that even before Katie and I made that first trip to death row to meet the men we would serve. We were beyond nervous and scared at who and what we might encounter. Within minutes of being with the men, Ray Dansby, a huge man who had been in solitary confinement for 30 years on the row, called me over to his cell and asked defiantly, “We all know what’s in it for you, but what’s in it for us?” This question came, I learned later, from all the ways that the men on the row had been exploited over the years for others’ personal gain.
Years ago, I had a bumper sticker on my car that read “Practice random kindness and senseless acts of beauty.” Maybe that’s all I needed to say here. That’s really what I hear Jesus saying to me when he says “don’t tell anyone.”
Written by Kathy McGregor
...who is grateful to everyone who has supported her in her faith journey.