Stumbling
AM Psalm 119:145-176 • PM Psalm 128, 129, 130
Obadiah 15-21 • 1 Pet. 2:1-10 • Matt. 19:23-30
The reading from 1 Peter today describes Jesus as the living cornerstone and those who believe in him as the living stones that make up a spiritual house. The chosen race receives mercy, while others continually stumble and disobey the word as they were destined to do. The idea that God chooses certain people to receive his mercy made me uncomfortable. It is human nature to want control. While we have control over our actions and should follow God’s teaching, there is nothing that we can do to deserve God’s mercy. I would argue that we all stumble and disobey God’s word far more often than we would like to admit. Being a stone in that spiritual house may ultimately protect us from the consequences of sin, but it does not prevent it.
I love lists. I live by them and am motivated by the ability to cross stuff off the list. Once something is crossed off, I put it behind me. Once it’s complete, I can count on that work being done. Faith is not like that. It isn’t linear and the work is never done. Everything that I had accomplished in my relationship with God: my conclusions, my principles, my habits, seemed to be destroyed this past year with just a few key events in my life. Just like that a lot of check marks vanished from my list and my faith changed direction. Because my principles were challenged, my habits only seemed to push me further from God. We all have moments where we stumble and become angry at God for our understanding of his teachings. In sin there is so much pain, but also a beautiful opportunity for growth. This year I’ve felt off balance, lonely, and uncertain. So many amazing things have happened, yet God wasn’t at the center which created a dissonance that I couldn’t seem to resolve. As I’m beginning to see things more clearly and my faith is evolving, I’m so incredibly grateful for this stumble, my failures, and my sins. While I wish I was a better person and could have avoided the pain, I found parts of God I didn’t know existed in places I wouldn’t have expected. In every sin, God’s grace can be seen shining through, we just have to be willing to see it and allow ourselves to be transformed by it.
Written by Hadley Thomas
Hadley graduated from the Colorado School of Mines with a biochemistry degree in December and has spent the spring semester working as a staff assistant in the U.S. Senate. She was recently commissioned as an Ensign in the U.S. Navy and began medical school at the Uniformed Services University in August. She is passionate about her faith and is excited to share her perspective and interpretations with the amazing congregation of Saint Paul’s.