Stepping Apart, Stepping Together

FROM THE RECTOR

In our premarital counseling, the priest who officiated at our wedding encouraged Elizabeth and me to have a weekly “date night.” She stressed the importance of habitually spending time together especially when future demands like children and work would make that hardest. She was right: it is hard. In the two decades since, we have struggled to keep up that practice, but that has not stopped me from passing along the advice to couples I see for premarital counseling.

Of course, there are far more efficient ways for us to spend time together than going out on a date. Instead of making a reservation, dressing up, arranging a meal for our children, driving to a restaurant, and spending extra money, we could simply serve the children a meal at the kitchen table and eat in the dining room by ourselves. Or we could skip the meal altogether and simply commit to sitting next to each other in the living room after the kids are in bed. Or, even better, if we count the six or so hours that we are asleep next to each other as a date, we could log every night as a date night.

As with most things that really matter, efficiency cannot be the goal of spending time with your beloved. Although we can reconnect with each other through something as simple as a walk around the neighborhood, taking time to be together and to be apart from the demands of daily life is how we renew our relationship. A date night does not need to be fancy or complicated, but it needs to convey the unequivocal importance of the love we seek to renew.

Our upcoming parish retreat is neither efficient nor fancy, but it is a wonderful way to reconnect with God, with friends and family, and with our church community. Camp Mitchell is a gorgeous place to step apart from the normal demands in our lives so that we can step closer to God and closer together. That weekend, April 26-28, we will eat, play, worship, relax, laugh, and explore together. If you have been looking for an opportunity to renew your faith or rediscover relationships among the people of St. Paul’s, consider joining us for the parish retreat.

A few miles up the road from Petit Jean State Park, Camp Mitchell stretches along the southern edge of the mountain, overlooking the Ada Valley below. Most of the lodging at camp consists of two-bed or four-bed rooms with private bathrooms. Larger cabins are available for families or groups that need more than four beds. Camp staff provide excellent food and hospitality. There are hiking trails at Camp Mitchell with more at the state park. It takes about two and a half hours to drive from Fayetteville to camp, but the trip is well worth it.

You can sign up for a room by yourself or for your family, or you can coordinate with other people at St. Paul’s or friends outside the parish to share accommodation. Carpooling is definitely a good idea. Plan to bring comfortable clothes, your favorite drinks and snacks, a musical instrument if you play, binoculars if you want to go birding, good footwear for a hike, a good book to read on the bluff, and anything else you would enjoy having on retreat.

While we are at the parish retreat, we will balance activities for the whole group, smaller group programs, and time for individual rest and relaxation. We will offer worship each morning and evening, spend time making s’mores by the campfire, enjoy walking through the woods, practice crafting and making music, and look for ways to get to know each other. If you have a particular practice that you would like to share with the whole group—like yoga, contemplative prayer, knitting, guitar, astronomy, or birding—let a member of our staff know so that we can include your offering in our plans. Or, if there is something you have always wanted to try and you think this is the opportunity to do so, let us know, and we will see if we can provide it.

To sign up for the parish retreat, use the form found on our webpage: www.stpaulsfay.org/news/retreat-2024. If you have questions, contact Beth Maze, our Director of Christian Formation. Last year was a great opportunity to spend time together at Camp Mitchell, and I believe this year will be even better. I hope you will find time to come away to camp and reconnect with what really matters, and the best part is the fact that we get to do that together.


Yours faithfully,

Evan D. Garner

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