What Makes Your Heart Sing?
FROM THE ASSOCIATE RECTOR
In case you missed the announcement in church on Sunday, March 10, we have submitted the grant proposal for St. Paul’s that would enrich the funding for my sabbatical in 2025 and provide funds for St. Paul’s to do some renewal work, too. The prominent question of the Clergy Renewal Program, administered by Christian Theological Seminary and funded by the Lilly Endowment, is “What makes your heart sing?”
When thinking about what we need for renewal, considering what makes our heart sing asks a good, discerning question. What, when we talk about what we’re doing, makes our face light up with joy, our chest feel inflated because our heart is so full we can hardly contain it? There are so many moments I feel such joy, but it’s not hard for me to identify that abiding in God’s love and sharing in worship are the loudest heart-singing moments.
Over the past year or so, however, I’ve noticed a different song emerging, one that seems to ask me to notice it, to listen more closely. Just as in Sacred Ground circles and our Becoming Beloved Community group we do work of truth-telling in regard to race and identity, so have I noticed a call to learn more about my own roots, who and where I come from.
According to a DNA test that I got to take by weird circumstances (you can ask me about it sometime!), about 60% of my DNA is from the UK, and 20% is Mesoamerican, which includes indigenous groups with pre-Columbian roots (my mother is Cherokee). The other 10% is a motley mix from Central Asia through Europe. So, during my sabbatical in May-June-July of 2025, I will spend some time visiting Europe, focusing on England and Scotland, though also visiting a dear friend and spiritual companion in Germany. I will also spend some time learning about my mother’s birth family in Oklahoma, family I don’t know because my mother’s adoption had been closed; we only learned about her adoption in 2016! She and I will also visit the First Nations Museum in Oklahoma City for the first time, which will surely be an opportunity to hear an ancestral drumbeat resonant in our own heart and soul. I will have at least three weeks of planned retreat time for solitary reflection, writing, and deep renewal.
While I am away, St. Paul’s has the opportunity to continue in its own history work, going back to the land before it was St. Paul’s and walking forward to the present, considering what our church’s relationship has been with our neighbors, particularly people of color. This coincides at a time when work on naming the Black Historic District is being done in the community. A group will be pulled together to meet and create a starting document that can be shared in the parish. The Rev. Hannah Hooker has done this work at Christ Church in Little Rock, and she’s willing to share her experience and wisdom with us. The renewal for St. Paul’s is one of transparency and ongoing genuine work in and with our community. The Becoming Beloved Community work begins with truth-telling, so we begin there and keep moving forward.
At the end of my sabbatical, I hope to be able to share the kinds of questions I took with me, the scripture that inspired me, and the resources that helped me along the way in a guided journal that I will be able to share and also possibly offer a retreat for those who wish to engage on a similar journey of knowing themselves more fully. Even if we don’t get the grant (it is competitive!), my sabbatical will happen, though the plans will certainly be modified!* I am hopeful that we can assure the time of renewal for me AND the congregation, and in the meantime, I’ll keep collecting the bits of wisdom and inspiration that continue to give me hope and keep my heart singing.
Sara+
*We will receive notification of grant awards on August 30, 2024. Prayers ascend for all those who wait in hope.