With Deep Gratitude
FROM THE DIRECTOR OF CHRISTIAN FORMATION
In the winter of 2015, I felt a certain restlessness and felt that God was calling me to a new chapter in my life and ministry. I began speaking into existence my desire to find a new home. By August in 2016 I’d arrived in Fayetteville with St. Martin’s and St. Paul’s. I knew no one except those who I’d met in the interview process. In the first month here I saw more rain than I had in the past five years of California drought and larger bugs than I’d ever met in my whole life. Over the past seven years this church and this city have become entwined with my whole being. I love this place and it’s people—you.
As of late, I’ve been following a popular parenting expert Dr. Becky. One of her mantras is “two things can be true at once.” For example, you can be a good mother and also need a break from your children. This is not only reassuring for those of us with young ones in our care, but I believe for all of us. We know this to be true about humanity through our faith. We are both a fallen people and inherently good. For me, in this moment, I both love my ministry and am ready for a change.
Over the past year and a half, since my husband Matthew’s death, I have been in survival mode. I have certainly had experiences in both my professional and personal life that have brought me joy. But I have also spent a lot of time simply doing what needs to be done to keep my family afloat and to heal. I am tired and I need to make space to care for myself in different ways. It is a bittersweet departure to be sure. I am so grateful for all of the ways that St. Paul’s has shown up for me personally. Thank you.
I will miss our communal life and I am certain God will continue to carry each of us in love until our paths cross again. This Sunday will be my last as the Director of Formation at St. Paul’s. It has been a joy to share the love of God through the life and teachings of Jesus in ministry with each of you. May we all be well and know that we are beloved.
Samantha