Suzanne Stoner’s Retirement
FROM THE RECTOR
Our beloved Associate Rector, the Rev. Suzanne Stoner, has announced her intention to retire with her last Sunday being January 8, 2023, which begins an enormous transition both for her and for St. Paul’s. After seventeen years of ordained ministry and almost twenty-three years as a member of our parish staff, Suzanne is ready to embrace the next chapter of her life, and I could not be more excited for her and Elliott, and I could not be more grateful for her ministry and friendship.
Suzanne and I began discussing her plans to retire several months ago, and initially we did not anticipate that she would be ready quite so soon. When her husband Elliott retired from the University last year, we expected that the time would come late in 2023, after my sabbatical, but recently she discovered a clear and convincing call that now is the right time, and I agree. This is the right time for her and her family, and it is also a good time for St. Paul’s. I have heard Suzanne speak of her deep confidence in the health and vitality of our church, and I have seen how that confidence has given her an overwhelming sense of joy as she prepares to retire. Her joy and confidence have given me the same.
Normally, we would not announce a retirement like this several months before it happens, but we need to begin searching for our next Associate Rector immediately. Suzanne has given decades of tireless work caring for the people of our parish. She generously and effectively shares that ministry with our clergy, lay staff, and volunteers, but we need someone whose principal ministry at St. Paul’s is to guide and manage our pastoral ministries. I estimate that it will take us several months to find, interview, call, and transition our next Associate Rector to Fayetteville, which is why we need to make this announcement now.
The ones who will feel the burden of that timing most profoundly are Suzanne and Elliott. Starting this Sunday, people will be eager to begin to say their goodbyes, but five months is a long, long time to say goodbye. I am absolutely convinced that Suzanne would rather focus on five months of important ministry with us than spend that time on a farewell tour. Yes, we will need to schedule some intentional ways to help Suzanne take her leave of us and for us to let go of her ministry as our Associate Rector, but I think those are likely to happen at the end of this year and the beginning of the next. Hopefully, after a few weeks of adjusting to this reality, we can focus on day to day ministry and trust that a more focused time to say goodbye is coming.
When Suzanne retires, all of us will feel that loss in one way or another. Suzanne and Elliott have been attending St. Paul’s almost every week since 1990. They have deep friendships and pastoral relationships in this parish, and her retirement means that she cannot be our pastor any longer. In time, I hope and expect that she will be able to rejoin this community as our friend, but, to do that, Suzanne will need a year or more apart from St. Paul’s to set aside those pastoral instincts. She needs to be able to come back and not feel the need to be among us as a caregiver, and we, too, will need that year to learn how to depend on others, including our next Associate Rector, for our pastoral care. In many ways, we already know how to do that—how to experience the care that so many in our parish provide—but things will feel different without Suzanne, and this transition will be challenging for all of us, especially her.
I am excited, however, at what this transition means for Suzanne, Elliott, and their family and at what it means for St. Paul’s. We are a wonderful, growing, loving church. We know how to care for each other and let our church family care for us. I trust that our next Associate Rector will bring new gifts to this ministry, and I believe that we will call a fabulous, talented, and faithful person into that role. None of us is eager to say goodbye to Suzanne, and we do not have bid her farewell quite yet, but the time to prepare for that farewell is upon us.
Join me in praying for Suzanne, Elliott, London, and their whole family. Join me in praying for all the people of St. Paul’s who love them and feel cared for by them. Join me in praying for whomever God will call to be our next Associate Rector. And join me in praying for this church we love—that God will guide St. Paul’s through this transition and into continued faithfulness for the years ahead.
Yours Faithfully,
Evan D. Garner
A Letter from Suzanne
This is the hard part. The thought of taking leave of you, the people of this parish, causes my heart to quicken. Gratitude and affection swamp me. I am who I am largely because you are who you are: good people seeking to live faithful lives. Walking alongside you on this pilgrimage of faith has been the greatest privilege of my life. It will take time and effort to get to know myself apart from you.
The easy part? Going home. Going home to Elliott and London and my mother. Going home to my father in North Carolina. Going to see children and brothers living in other parts of the country and world. Catching up with old friends. Sleeping in. Weeding the garden. And then listening and watching for what comes next. The thought of those things brings me joy.
I smile also as I think of the room my departure makes for another pastor to step in. And my delight at the thought of how you will shape their ministry just as you have molded mine—lucky, lucky priest! You, this parish, the staff, and Evan, will have my dearest prayers as you begin to open your hearts to the path God presents.
But let’s not get ahead of ourselves. We have five months of good and holy work ahead of us! See you in church.
With thanksgiving and love,
Suzanne