Hate for the Sake of Love
Luke 14:25-33
Biblical Family Values.
“Whoever comes to me and does not hate father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters, yes and even life itself, cannot be my disciple.”
I am sure this is exactly what you think of when you hear Biblical Family Values or Traditional Family Values, right? Probably not.
Jesus is offering instructions to all who wish to be his disciples and clearly naming the startling requirements for the ministry. Jesus emphasizes the choices would be disciples must make—Jesus or family. Jesus or earthly life. Jesus or possessions.
To be disciples, Jesus is asking us to hate family, life, and possessions.
I hate ketchup and crickets. Can’t stand them. I sort of cringe just talking about them. I have such strong feelings about both ketchup and crickets that it is easy for me to hate them. Not a problem, Jesus. If those were the prerequisites for discipleship it would be no issue.
On the other hand, I love my family! I love my parents, my wife, and my cat. I love my chosen family too. I love life. And I have to say I love many of my possessions—though not in nearly the same way. This is where discipleship gets trickier.
To hate my family and my life would be a real hardship. I don’t think the literal emotion of hatred is the actual goal, but Jesus is asking us to make a choice. We must order our lives in significant and challenging ways. What is primary? What motivates your life? What centers you? What comes first?
Conversely, what gets in the way? What must you rid yourself of to attend to Jesus as primary? What must you hate to be fully centered in Christ’s love?
Love your family. But if your family prevents you from following Jesus, or if your family separates you from the love of God…Jesus comes first.
Love your life. But if the love of life prevents you from being able to pick up the cross with Christ… Jesus comes first.
Enjoy those things that add comfort to your life. But if you love them so much that you cannot love Jesus in each person you encounter… Jesus comes first.
Discipleship is not easy. And if our faith does not require any sacrifice, we might be missing something.
This is probably a good moment to name that Jesus’ teachings have been misused in a number of ways throughout history. God has granted us reason, prayer, and relationship as means of discerning. Earthly leaders speaking in the name of Jesus are not Jesus.
There are leaders who have used this passage and other similar ones to build powerful insular communities that perpetuate harm and division. These leaders have asked people to hate those who care for them in order to follow their leadership fully and without question. That’s not what Jesus is asking us for.
When we follow the true word of God and of Jesus in particular, we are reminded that sacrifice is life-giving. Sacrifice is for the betterment of the whole and not just a few; it is for the care of the Body of Christ. The hatred of what separates us from God is actually a call to a more expansive love of Christ.
The way that Luke’s Gospel in particular talks about Jesus demonstrates a call to expansive life. Luke talks a lot about God’s commonwealth, where our resources are shared for the care of community. Luke reminds us of what life in the Body of Christ can look like. Jesus’ imperative draws us beyond the insular family, and beyond an individual way of being. We are called into expansive life.
Biblical family values require enough trust in Jesus to expand the family beyond mother, father, wife, husband, and children. Being a disciple of Jesus presents an alternative structure of belonging. We become the Body of Christ, not just our individual family units. We belong to Jesus more than we belong to a family, to our possessions, and even to life. Jesus is the center of our structures of belonging. We are disciples first and foremost.
There is something expansive in these requirements for discipleship. We become part of something much greater—part the Kin-dom of God.
When we loosen our grasp on our insular family structures, on insider vs. outsider ways of being, we are freer to extend hospitality. We are freer to create strong relationships beyond the family. We create groups of belonging that are based in our faith and not just our blood.
When we loosen our grasp on possessions, we are freer to share of our resources and ensure that all in our community have what they need. We are less distracted and more centered on Jesus and how we follow him in our daily lives.
When we loosen our grasp on life, we see that our lives are not our own. Our lives belong to the God of all creation. We are created beings and we are followers of Jesus. Living according to the word of Jesus can create challenges for us, but we are called to stand firm in sharing his love, salvation, and liberation.
While on the first read, it is easy to get stuck on the word “hate” and have that be the thing that goes with us, love is still central. Even Jesus’ hardest teachings are given in love. Jesus wants us to be his disciples, so he gives instructions for our life as followers and our common life as the Body of Christ in the world. Jesus experienced human life and knew the temptations we all encounter—the overarching theme in the hate of family, life, and possessions is an acknowledgment of what is temporal and impermanent. Jesus wants to free us from those things so that we may live lives that are centered on things that are holy, eternal, and beyond the world as we know it.
This passage is not saying to hate all the people who care for you and protect you. This passage is not saying to give all of that up in favor of an earthy religious leader.
This passage IS saying to look beyond the small, individualized structures of our world. This passage invites us into a deeper common life. Jesus calls us beyond the insular and toward expansive relationships and ways of being. We are called into the chosen family of Christ-followers. We chose our baptism and join this body.
This passage is not placing hate as a Christian value. Instead, Jesus is asking us to resist the things that separate us from God and from God’s creation. This is for the sake of love and care.
In Christ, life is deeper and wider, richer, and more creative.
It is deeper and wider because our structures of belonging come from a source of love. Our relationships and connections expand in ways we might not have imagined.
Life is richer because in releasing our possessions, we become rich in love. Opportunities for generosity arise. Loosening our earthly resources helps us rely on God and on the Body of Christ for our needs to be met. We are brought together rather than living separated self-sufficient lives.
And in giving our lives to God, we experience her creative power and discern God’s will for our lives.
May we join Christ in that life that is deep and wider, richer, and more creative. AMEN.
© 2022 The Rev. Adelyn Tyler-Williams
St. Paul’s Episcopal Church – Fayetteville, Arkansas