The Deer and I

AM Psalm 30, 32 • PM Psalm 42, 43
Deut. 7:17-26 • Titus 3:1-15 • John 1:43-51

In Psalm 42:1-2 we read:

“As the deer longs for the water-brooks,

So longs my soul for you, O God.

My soul is athirst for God, athirst for the living God;

When shall I come to appear before the presence of God?”

At the time of this reading, it is the first Saturday in Lent. In anticipation of Lent this year, I have spent a lot of time thinking about my journey into the wilderness. I have been packing my mental backpack carefully. I have filled it with many questions. My usual approach to Lent begins with a certain amount of trepidation, and yet I love the season of Lent. A few of the verses in Psalm 42 express a lot of how I am feeling this year. I sense a certain heaviness within and a cacophony of disquietude. I believe the recent horrors of hatred, the unspeakable violence and injustice so rampant in our world today have ignited a lot of this anxiety and anger. I think it’s easy for me to focus on the outside world and pick apart all that is wrong there. My walk in the wilderness with Jesus isn’t about what’s outside, it is about looking within myself honestly. I can’t shake an intuition that God is knocking on my door.

When I think of being thirsty for God, I think about contemplative practices, like Centering Prayer. Father Thomas Keating has written and spoken a great deal about the true self/false self and how the path to living more fully from our true selves springs from deep communion with God. Lent is a time of deep listening to what God is saying. In today’s reading in Titus, Paul talks about attributes like being devoted to good works in order to meet urgent needs, avoiding stupid controversies, showing every courtesy to everyone, being gentle, not being divisive or quarrelsome, not speaking evil of anyone. This sounds a lot like living from our true selves. I am going to take a close look in the mirror. I am reminded of Herman Hesse’s words in his novel “Damien”. They certainly ring true for me. He said, “I wanted only to try to live in accord with the promptings that came from my true self. Why was that so very difficult?”

Written by Deborah Griffin

...who is very thankful for electricity and the hard work of the linemen and other employees of the electrical companies that make it happen.