The Only Permission You Ever Needed Was Your Own*
AM Psalm 69:1-23(24-30)31-38 • PM Psalm 73
Isa. 56:1-8 • Gal. 5:16-24 • Mark 9:2-13
The above is from A Course of Love and was quoted to me this morning by a friend. The source of these words is a book that is a sequel to A Course in Miracles. I was a student of ACIM back in the 1980s and the truths in that book have been an important contributor to my transformative process. The words in the quote struck a synchronous cord in me. Just the day before I had experienced an epiphany while pondering what was meant by “resolving a relationship.” I had thought that to resolve some conflict or difference between two people it was necessary for the people to talk the situation through jointly and come to a meeting of the minds and hearts.
My pondering had been informed by an essay** called “Knowing When to Let Someone Go.” I was thinking about a friendship that had begun over twenty years ago and had ended a little over a year ago. A friend stopped all communication with me because they perceived I had betrayed them in a way that was unclear to me. My first reaction had been to try to talk with them about what happened. My esteem/affection Energy Center was experiencing a psychological emergency.*** I apologized via e-mail and offered to make amends to repair whatever damage my actions had caused. My attempts to communicate were ignored.
I found myself in the afflictive emotional trap of anger, guilt, and sadness for having failed to “resolve” things with this person. And then the epiphany: The only permission I needed to resolve things in this relationship was my own. I felt I was free of the painful emotions I had been carrying for over a year. Would I have preferred if we could have mutually resolved things? Yes, but that is not necessary for me to resolve things for myself. I now can freely wish this person only good in their life going forward. Cowabunga!
Written by Nick Cole
...who is thankful beyond measure for President Joe Biden et al and for the resilience of democracy in these UNITED States of America.
* All the scripture readings for this day helped inform my writing of this Reflection. I chose to add a non-biblical "scripture" to enhance my communication.
** For a copy of the essay, contact me.
***For an explanation of the Energy Centers as conceived by Fr. Thomas Keating, see my reflection from January 6, 2021; and/or see Keating's book, An Invitation to Love (Chapter One).